Stephen Hines

     So we have a new president named Barack Obama.

     In my last blog I mentioned that I was, somewhat reluctantly, voting for the man. And I did. To be honest, I waffled quite a bit after posting that blog. After rereading it, along with Terry Ervin's comments, I realized that I was being a hypocrit.

     How, you ask?

     Well, I criticized people who let Bush manipulate them (with fear) into reelecting a worthless sack of feces braindead spoiled rotten rich kid. But then, I was (originally) voting for Obama out of fear. Granted my fear was of a braindead hockey mom religious zealot, but still. My vote was being manipulated by fear.

     All the way up until I cast my (provisional) ballot, I was waffling between writing in a vote for my dude Ron Paul (watch for his new DVD: Too Honest for Washington!) and voting for Barack. When I sat down in the voting precinct, my little #2 pencil kept hovering between the bubbles. Several times I tried to force my hand down to the bottom of the ballot so I could write in Mr. Paul, but my gut kept telling me, "No!"

     Now, I pride myself on thinking things through before acting. And I mostly do. I have very little respect for people who flit about being pulled behind their Ids, constantly humiliating themselves and having to apologize for uncontrolled impulsive behavior. But, on the other hand (I have five fingers!) I've learned that my gut feeling is almost always right. Nearly every time I've ignored my gut feeling, it's been regrettable. Sometimes on a large scale. Sometimes on a minute scale. Either way, my gut rarely steers me wrong.

     So, I voted for Obama, shoved my ballot in the big provisional ballot envelope (somehow I wasn't on the register and the senile old geezers running the precinct kept insisting that I wasn't a registered voter...nevermind the fact that I'd just voted in the primary for this here election...and the previous presidential election, etc.) and left. No, I didn't go skipping away, rejoicing and feeling 100% ecstatic in the candidate I'd just endorsed. But I knew I'd done the right thing.

     Now, a few days after Barack annihilated McCain, I'm beginning to get these ridiculoulsy paranoid and fearful e-mails stating that Obama's presidency is the second-to-last sign that the USA is collapsing beneath the weight of it's own decadence. When I log in to my MySpace account, people are posting these insane, almost schizophrenically paranoid rants about America voting itself into the red, iron claws of communism. Oh, and the old "New World Order" phrase has resurfaced. I hadn't heard that since it came out of GEORGE BUSH SENIOR'S mouth a while back. How soon these paranoid right wingers forget.

      All of this, along with all of the parrotted conservative talk show host catch phrases ("Liberal Media", "Rockstar Obama", "America's New Saviour", etc.) never cease to crack me up. It's okay if people don't like the guy. Disagree with his politics, vote against him, etc. But, for the love of god, at least think for yourselves! You sound like starstruck teenagers who constantly go around quoting their favorite celebrity's catch phrases.

      Let's keep things in perspective here, America. We have these things built into our government called CHECKS and BALANCES. Even if the Democrats completely take over in Washington (god forbid) there's no way Obama has free reign to do whatever he pleases. The dinger in the liberty bell may have swung from the right to the left, but it's padded with safety measures to ensure the bell doesn't crack from the extreme swing. Not to mention, there are enough fat cats who've been made rich by special interest groups, payoffs, bribes, etc. who would fight like momma bears protecting their cubs to make sure no president kills their cash cow.

     I still stand by my belief that, until we have more than two teams in town, our government is screwed. We need at least three or four VIABLE choices/voices in DC.

     But that doesn't mean that I won't enjoy listening to conservatives wind themselves up into a paranoid frenzy over Obama. I am, however, concerned about what Jon Stewart will have to make fun of. He's a smart, funny guy, though. He'll be okay.